Oi Gordon! - its my fucking money. NOT yours.

If i were ever to write a letter to Gordon Brown, this is how it would go:

"Dear Gordon,

Thank you for your recent budget. As a white, middle class taxpayer (all those things you seem to hate), thank you for bending me over and fucking me financially again. Yes, i do love paying out for slackers, students, an incredibly inefficient NHS, Crappy roads, Childrens Trust Funds, MP's pensions, Tax credits for those too lazy to get proper job, "incapacity benefit" (should be called skiving bastard benefit in a lot of cases), Single parents, the fucking EU, the fucking Overseas Development Agency, the Health and Safety Executive, and all those other bloated and disorganised public bodies and benefits. There is one thing i'd like to point out though, as you seem to have forgotten. It's MY money. Not YOURS. Why the fuck should I have to pay out for such a lamentable level of service from a government which if it were a private company would be up in court finding itself answering to charges of theft and fraud with regard to a multitude of "goverment promises" that have either failed to appear or just failed when they have appeared. So i finish this letter quite simply.

It's OUR money, WE know how to spend it better than you do. Why the fuck should I as a taxpayer pay for you to "distribute" MY money to some arse-end-of-the-universe Labour heartland just to buy votes.

Yours Sincerley,

Kermit"